For the Cute Boy Who Holds Back His Sneezes in Math Class   

From the book Forming Galaxies by Zack Taylor

Blow these numbers off the page, so I can finally have an excuse to
blow off some time with you!
I want to memorize what that sneeze sounds like. Unique to the individual.
Each sound depends upon sneezer’s voice,
allergies, larynx, even personality.
If that’s all true, I bet even you, sneeze as sexy as a mother fucker!

The only thing that I want more wet and slimey than the inside of your elbow,
is the way we make love.
Oh baby, that’s it!
Sneeze for me! Sneeze harder!
Sneezed like you’ve never sneezed
for a man before and then sneeze
some more!

Don’t EVER hold a sneeze back!
You’re not only killing brain cells
but killing me as well!
I want to see what kind of tornados
you can throw when a dust storm
gets at you.
What demons are you hiding,
not letting Christ expel.
Don’t be ashamed!

Are you scared that just your sneeze
will create tsunami waves of attention?
If so, I’m buying a front row ticket wearing
nothing but arm floaties and a rain coat.

If you get sick, kiss me with your breath
and well get over this cold- feet together.
I want to memorize your sneeze so when we
are together cooking dinner, you can be half way through inhale and
I’ll be ready with tissue in hand and words,
bless you
trotting outta my mouth.

I want to be the blessed one
to be within hearing distance.
Be able to bless you back.
See you come outta your shell for .237 seconds.
Catch the science of your anatomy jumping off the cliff of your nose.

I want to be in the bookstore,
reading superhero graphic novels,
hear you in your boredom two floors up at a Starbucks, sneeze,
and be able to say
YES! THAT’S MY MAN!!
You hear that one Peter Parker?!
Try to dodge your spidey-sense around that one!

We’ll have two kids, named
Gesundheit and Salud.
The cat’s name will be Ah-Choo.
Unless you’re allergic to cats,
then scratch the kids, and we’ll have
a cat zoo! So I can hear the symphony
of your nostrils on the daily.

If you think this poem is gross
wait till you see the way I sneeze
when I’m thinking of you.